This is what finals week has done to me.

"TurboSloth" (TheTurboSloth)
05/07/2014 at 10:01 • Filed to: None

I'm a Nursing major (yes, I'm a guy). Because of that, I tend to study in the building on campus where my professors are located. On the 3rd floor of that building, there are tables and couches where only Nursing Majors can study. I've used the same table and desk for the past week. I also have worn the same hoodie, and the same shorts for the past week (because I can't find my fucking pants. No seriously, I really can't.).

That's led to my professors thinking that I haven't gone home since Saturday. Since then, I've had professors come up to me going, "TurboSloth (no they don't call me that), I really have to say I admire your diligence. You can go home, you know? Finals won't be that hard."

I haven't shaved in 2 weeks. I look like a hobo. The only reason the faculty and security hasn't kicked me out, is because they know me that the guy who sits in the same seat and table and studies. Now they know me as the guy who hasn't gone home in nearly a week. I have gone home. Only after everyone has left. And I show up to the same place before anyone gets here.

I calculated my grades, and on each of my finals, I cannot get more than 15 questions wrong. 15 questions per test. That's what separates me from an A in each class.

Honestly, the quiet has done things to me. I'm slowly starting to realize that I do actually have voices in my head. I can discern between reality and my mind, so I know I'm not schizophrenic. One day, I drew up a map of what I want to do with the rest of my life, which kinda went like this.

1. Become Trauma Nurse, work in a Shock Trauma center. Become real damn good at the job.

2. Go back to grad school within 5 years of landing my job, to go back for anesthesiology at Colombia University or UPenn (Getting into an Ivy Grad School is easier when you have the experience).

2.5. Score high at the LSATs./GMATs (I like the LSATs. I love these type of questions)

3. Get a part time MBA/JD (NYU, or Colombia), and see if I can get a MPH (Masters in Public Health).

4. Get a doctorate in something.

5. Make public health policy. Instead of 'Obamacare,' we're going to have some 'TurboCare (TM)'

6. Be successful in making policy. Become Surgeon General.

7. Become President/Leader of the Free World.

8. Create an Autobahn system, initiate stricter criteria on getting your license (for safety reasons, Jalops would pass. You all are safe drivers right?)

TLDR; I'm losing my sanity over here, but thought of a way to create an autobahn, while taking over the world. TURBOSLOTH FOR PREZ 2024

Yep, I'm going crazy here. Also, smoking is a risk factor for EVERYTHING. Don't smoke kids.

If you've read all of this, then, damn. What are you doing with your life? Thanks though. HERE's a great looking ass of an STI.

DISCUSSION (35)

Brian Silvestro > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:04

This is one of the best things I've read on oppo in a while.

thebigbossyboss > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:05

Sloth for Prez 2024!!!!

You can send campaign stickers to canada right? Americans will still see them Pro tip: 1 in 30 Canadians is an American.

thebigbossyboss > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:06

I am on a similar life trajectory. Just about to have 5 years at my job, and subsequently go back to grad school.

Agrajag > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:07

Vote Turbocare 2052

PheeNoIVI > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:07

Just remember man. C's get degrees!

thebigbossyboss > PheeNoIVI
05/07/2014 at 10:09

C's and D's get degrees but certainly not degrees that get you into Grad schoool lol.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > thebigbossyboss
05/07/2014 at 10:13

I managed 3.5 years or so before going back. Grad school has been way more awesome than doing an undergrad.

This coming from someone who is smack in the middle of writing his thesis.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > thebigbossyboss
05/07/2014 at 10:14

D is for Diploma!

ttyymmnn > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:16

I play trumpet in an orchestra, and my second trumpet player (I'm the principal) has gotten a degree in nursing. He's a guy, too. He found that his area of interest is in cardiac care, and he's working in the cardiac ICU (I think). He loves it.

As a musician, I play LOTS of commencement ceremonies. One of the ceremonies I play regularly is the School of Nursing here at UT-Austin. For many years, the Dean of the School closed the ceremony with this quote from Rabindranath Tagore. You may have heard it already.

"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy."

I'm glad there are people like you who will do jobs like fire, EMS, police, nursing. Because God knows I couldn't do them.

Now go home and take a shower.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:16

I was a poli sci major, now working for a large German-based international company in the auto industry, and going back from my MBA in a couple years or so. I am also related to the VP of the greatest president ever, I'm talking about Teddy of course! Need a good running mate? I'd make a great VP. lol

TurboSloth > PheeNoIVI
05/07/2014 at 10:17

I'm at a B+ level. I already essentially have a degree. It's the A's that get you into grad school

TurboSloth > Agrajag
05/07/2014 at 10:19

VOTE TURBOCARE 2052, AND EVERYONE GETS A FREE AUTOBAHN.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:19

it never ends. I spent endless nights in the architecture studio, now its late nights studying for my arch. licence.

that has to be one of the best rally paint schemes i've ever seen

i found a few more.

http://www.dipyourcar.com/forums/showthr…

thebigbossyboss > BaconSandwich is tasty.
05/07/2014 at 10:20

Yeah it's gonna suck being a bit poor, but the change of pace and being my own boss in a way will be pretty cool. Thanks for the encouragement!

yamahog > thebigbossyboss
05/07/2014 at 10:20

Undergrad grades aren't as big a factor if you're planning on working in your field for five years before grad school anyway. I admire the work ethic but don't kill yourself! I have four nurses in my family (aunt, uncle, two cousins) and I remember how rough school was for my cousin, so good luck on finals!

PheeNoIVI > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:21

Yeah, I know. I'm sure you'll get there

ttyymmnn > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
05/07/2014 at 10:21

I'm related to Calvin Coolidge. "Silent Cal." When somebody told Dorothy Parker that Coolidge had died, she reportedly said, "How can you tell?" So, bully for you!

TurboSloth > OPPOsaurus WRX
05/07/2014 at 10:22

brb, buying some plastidip and a paint gun.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:23

Somewhat glad my Career I plan on going into doesn't involve anything but UTI or ITT Tech. Yay mechanic!

TurboSloth > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
05/07/2014 at 10:24

I deal with UTI's. And by UTI's I mean urinary tract infections. And by urinary tract infections, I mean other people's penises, in a non homosexual way. I also deal with vaginas, but not in the good, heterosexual way. No one likes infected private parts.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:27

Reasons I couldn't be a nurse: Can't deal with other people's junk or nasty infections. And you get bled on, puked on (did that to a nurse once, felt horrible) and have to see some really nasty shit.

thebigbossyboss > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:34

My fiancee's sister is a trauma nurse that specializes in burn victims. It (from what I am told is much like the karate kid) bandage on, bandage off. Also I apologize to the nurses who dealt with me when I dislocated my knee. I get pretty dumb on morphine.

TurboSloth > thebigbossyboss
05/07/2014 at 10:39

I get a kick out of patients when they're messed up on pain meds. Believe me. They probably got a kick out of it too.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:40

Kinja'd!!!

Ask me about how at 4 AM on the fourth floor of the Manufacturing Related Disciplines Complex at Georgia Tech, the fatigue and hum of machinery in the other parts of the building create auditory hallucinations - machines having *conversations*. Ask me about how at 5 AM in the Hemphill Avenue Apartments (now the "Crecine Aparments"), after 80 hours awake, the shadows race down the walls laughing and the hallways tilt sideways and pitch up to meet your face.

Kinja'd!!!

Okay, what I'm saying here is, as a Mech. Eng. undergrad, I was *there*, man.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:46

You know what they call the guy that graduates last in his class from Med School?

Doctor.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 10:49

First week of my end of year tests: I'm already plotting how to invade Brunei and seize the Sultan's car collection.

thebigbossyboss > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 11:05

My fiancee tells me my comments were laughed at by the nurses and doctors who examined. If this is a stupid question I apologize, but if I were to dislocate my knee at the hospital who would have relocated it for me, a doctor or a nurse, I don't really remember.

TurboSloth > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
05/07/2014 at 11:05

I almost became a Mech Engineer. I love the sound of machinery. Believe me, I'd jump into those conversations with machines. I also talk to my car daily. It does talk back.

TurboSloth > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits
05/07/2014 at 11:06

I still wouldn't want him diagnosing me.

TurboSloth > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
05/07/2014 at 11:07

Need an extra hand? I'll drop everything I'm doing and help with that. As long as I get a fair share of his 12332342890342809348 cars.

TurboSloth > thebigbossyboss
05/07/2014 at 11:15

Well, I don't know to the extent of your injury. However, if it was a dislocated limb that didn't "pop" back into it's joint (which I'm assuming because you're talking about the knee), the doctor most likely would have done the relocation. The nurse could have also been in the room to see what was going on. If your comments were being laughed at, probably both nurses and doctors were laughing at the nurses station.

Just remember, we're not laughing at you*, or with you. We're laughing at you, while under the influence of a narcotic.

*Technically, we were laughing at you, while high. This is why I love anesthetic drugs.

thebigbossyboss > TurboSloth
05/07/2014 at 11:28

Oh I am not upset they laughed, I was just curious who did the relocation, since my memory is quite foggy.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > thebigbossyboss
05/07/2014 at 13:18

I find it quite different for a few reasons:

1. I'm studying stuff I like. I haven't had to take a lot of classes that I didn't want to. (I think I had to take 3 5000 level classes, in total).

2. There's more freedom and flexibility with your time. Need to take some time off in the afternoon to run to a parts store? Not a problem. You work when you want. Of course this also means that you are the one responsible if something doesn't get done.

3. More motivation. Rather than just trying to "make it through", you can actually spend time and enjoy the learning process.

4. Funding. Little did I know, there was funding available for grad students. I was prepared to pay for everything myself, but in exchange for teaching duties, they give you a small stipend - enough to cover at least some living expenses.

Honest, doing a Master's is less intense I thought it was going to be. While getting my Master's I also got married, won $10k in a business plan competition, went to an academic conference in France, and am starting my own business ( https://pylons.info - a system for helping people find nearby events).

That being said, I need to get cracking on my thesis...

thebigbossyboss > BaconSandwich is tasty.
05/07/2014 at 13:20

This was a great post, many thanks! For me it will be no funding first year, at least $9K funding second year. word. I really am looking forward to no longer worrying about how the hell I am going to renew my registration stickers and stuff. (since the DMV hours are 9-4 and I work 8:30-5) lol

Brad Pittman > PheeNoIVI
05/08/2014 at 09:51

Do you know what we call the person who graduates last in med school? ............ Doctor. Bada bop zing. I'll be here all week.